What No One Tells You About Being an Executor

Being named an executor can feel like an honor — a final act of trust from someone you loved.

But once the paperwork starts, the phone calls come in, and the questions pile up, something else starts to surface: this is harder than you expected.

No one tells you that being an executor can bring up grief in waves.

That sorting through a closet can stop you in your tracks.

That family dynamics don’t always improve under stress — sometimes, they crack.

You might feel like you're walking on eggshells, trying to keep everyone informed while holding back your own emotion. Or maybe you're trying to “get it all done” before you've had a chance to breathe, because the to-do list keeps growing and the world keeps moving.

Here’s what we don’t say enough: it’s okay to feel everything.

You’re doing something deeply personal, during a deeply vulnerable time. It’s not just paperwork — it’s memories, relationships, and love all mixed up in legal responsibility.

If you feel like you’re not doing it “right” — that’s normal. Most executors feel unsure, second-guessing decisions they’ve never had to make before.

Give yourself permission to be human. Ask for help when you need it. Pause when it’s too much. You don’t have to hold everything alone to honor someone well.

Sometimes, the best way to carry out a loved one’s final wishes is by letting yourself feel, rest, and keep going — one step at a time.

1361 Oliver Road

Fairfield, California 94534

By Phone: 707.428.9871

By Fax: 707.428.9873

By Email: btpfairfield@sbcglobal.net

Website